Are you expressing your feelings? Haha dik, ive felt what you are feeling right now. Be strong yeah. Ive survived. Ive been experiencing that feelings alone without telling anyone except Allah for a few months. Trust me. If you put Allah in your heart, Allah will make your life and your feelings easier to be handled. I know its hard. Yeah, it takes time. But when you put Allah first and you did the right thing for a good chance, just only for Allah, you will be fine in shaa Allah.
But, its a lie if I tell people i survived and i dont even think about that crazy feelings feelings again. Yes. It did come back to me. Yeah it came, sometimes. But I asked Allah to strengthen my heart. Everybody said 'kau bolehlah... Dah ok je aku tgk sekarang' yelah dari luar korg nampak la ok. But internal feelings? Deeeeep deeep in my heart? Only Allah knows. How many times that i feel that jiwa bergolak, how many times did I try to fight with myself? Be qowwie dik, awak nampak je macam tu. Tapi kita kenal dia kan. We can guess exactly what is in dia punya heart. Sama je :) kita pun buat benda sama. Pretending that we are totally okay but? Haha pikirlah. However, im glad and grateful because Allah give me chance to stay with them. Takdelah bermusuh bertekak bergaduh lg hahaha. Sampai sekarang. Yang sorang tu, dia dah dok jauh dah. Tp masih lg kkdg tanya khabar and stuffs. Chatting about random things. And i convince myself lg sorg tu pun boleh jd macam tu. Dik, awak pun boleh (if you didnt hold grudge la haha) kalau berdendam, tak boleh nak nolong.
Remaja. Every teenager have their own faith to know what is real life right?
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